By Anonymous
Stop wasting your time.
You're tired of random hookups.
Sure, hooking up can be fun, but you're done with all that now.
You don't want to just get laid, you've mastered the art of attraction. Now you want more.
You want a girlfriend.
So, where to begin, and how do you make sure when you're going about getting girlfriend that she also isn't a total jerk?
There is no one full-proof guide on how to get a girlfriend, but there are some helpful first steps.
And...
They all start with you.
Yes, you!
And that's a great thing, because YOU are the only thing you can really control.
So here are some things to keep in mind as you begin your quest for the perfect girlfriend.
1. Be yourself from the jump.
There is a tendency when we start dating someone new to be the best possible version of ourselves is always our motive.
I understand that.
What I can't understand is pretending to be someone you aren't.
A first date is not the time to decide that you, too, are a vegetarian or a Scientologist.
It's tempting to say and do things that will surprise and delight your date.
Being yourself with your date is going to help you find someone who likes you for you faster.
Why?
Because they won't have to dig so aggressively to get to know who you really are.
Plus, you won't feel anywhere nearly as frustrated as you would if three months in you feel like your partner only wants to do stuff they want that you don't even like.
If you find yourself in that position, it's because you put yourself there with someone who thinks that they are dating their clone.
2. Know what you want.
I've got a good metaphor for this one:
Shoe shopping.
So you've got a big wedding to go to and you need to buy some shoes for it.
There are two ways you can go about this.
Here's the first way:
You can wander into the mall after work and mill around for a couple of hours hoping something works.
Here's the second way:
You can figure out what color, cut, size, and style would work best with your dress before you go into the store.
You'll be able to find shoes both ways.
But one takes a hell of a lot less time and effort.
Same with a girlfriend. Mostly.
If you know what you're looking for in a partner, it's easier to find one who meets your needs without the exhaustion and frustration you might feel if you date blind, hoping to meet someone decent.
3. Be honest about your intentions.
Honesty is key, both with your potential dating partners, and perhaps even more importantly, with yourself.
If what you want is to attract a soulmate, a long term serious girlfriend who is a homebody, then you shouldn't keep sleeping with the polyamorous raver girl, no matter how hot she is.
Being honest with the people you date is always important, but I'm willing to say that being honest with yourself is even more important.
If what you want is a girlfriend, date accordingly.
4. Don't settle.
Finding a solid relationship is, quite frankly, exhausting.
For it to work requires being willing to make yourself vulnerable and open to one person after another after another in the hopes that eventually you won't have to do it anymore.
It can be very tempting to settle for a relationship that is ALMOST what you want, rather than continuing the arduous process of dating until you find what you REALLY want.
You want a girlfriend. You want a partner.
You want a sexy, smart, equal that you can build a future with together.
That's not outrageous or demanding.
It's perfectly okay to keep looking until you find the person who is perfect for you.
Its all about you.
Cheers!
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