Friday 30 September 2016

How to Build a Computer, Lesson 1: Hardware Basics


First, we will have to understand the parts that make up a computer and what they do.
Every fully-functioning computer is made of the same basic components, and in this section, we’ll walk through the basic hardware you’ll need for your first build. We’re still just talking about “things to consider” here—we’ll get down to the nitty-gritty of picking out specific parts in the next lesson. Here, we just want to point out what the important components are, and which ones are the most important for certain builds.
The Processor
 


The Processor (CPU) is the “brain” of your computer, the thing that carries out the tasks you give it. Better CPUs can perform more tasks at once, and perform them faster. That said, not everyone actually takes advantage of their processor’s full speed, so the high-end models are only really crucial if you’re performing intensive tasks like video editing, video conversion, compiling code, or (to a lesser extent) gaming. It’s also one of the most expensive parts of a machine, so if you aren’t performing these types of tasks, you definitely don’t need to worry about buying the latest and greatest.

The Motherboard

The motherboard connects all the other components to one another, and is the physical base upon which you build everything else. It contains a lot of your machine’s core features, like the number of USB ports, the number of expansion cards you can put in (such as video, sound, and Wi-Fi), and also partially determines how big your computer will be. Which motherboard you pick will depend on whether you build a low, medium, or high performance machine and how advanced of a user you are.


The Case

The case holds all of your computer’s parts together. For the most part, a case is less about features that affect how your computer runs and more about features that affect you and your home—that is, how quiet it is, how large it is, and of course, how it looks in your office. Still, it’s an important consideration that is dependent on your other choices, so you might want to think about what you want in terms of a case before moving on to the shopping step.






The RAM

RAM, or Random Access Memory (or “Memory” for short), is like your computer’s short-term memory. It stores data your computer needs quick access to to help your programs run faster, and help you run more programs at one time. Thus, if you run a lot of programs at once, you’ll want a computer with more RAM. If you use virtual machines, you’ll want even more RAM, since it has to run its own programs in addition to yours.


The Graphics Card


The Graphics card, or GPU, is a processor specifically designed to handle graphics. It’s what you hook your monitor up to, and it’s what draws your desktop and your windows on the screen. Some motherboards come with a GPU already integrated, which is enough to manage your desktop, but usually not enough for playing 3D games. For those, you’ll need a dedicated graphics card, since it can do the legwork needed to draw those complex images.


The Hard Drive(s)

Your hard drive—not to be confused with memory (RAM)—stores all of your data, ranging from your operating system to your documents, music, and movies. If the RAM is your computer’s short-term memory, your hard drive is the long-term memory. It stores the things you want to keep around for awhile. The kind of hard drive you choose will be determined mainly by how much data you need to store, but certain kinds of hard drives (like solid state drives) can also affect your computer’s speed.



The Optical Drive


An optical drive, more commonly known as a CD or DVD drive, is what you’ll use to read CDs, DVDs, and even Blu-Ray discs. Not everyone needs an optical drive in their computer these days, but since you can buy one for about $20, there’s little reason not to have one.


The Power Supply


The power supply directs electricity to the other components in your machine. Generally speaking, if you have a high performance computer with a fast processor, a graphics card, and a few hard drives, you’ll need a higher wattage power supply than you would if you were building a low-end PC. This is probably the last component you’ll shop for, once you’ve nailed down your other parts and how much electricity they’ll require.







Other Parts to Consider
While these are the main parts almost every computer has, you probably have other needs. For example, if you’re going to use Wi-Fi to access the internet instead of wired Ethernet, you may need to buy a Wi-Fi card. If you take a lot of photos, it’s probably worth getting an internal SD card reader for easily loading your photos onto your computer. If you have any Bluetooth peripherals, you might consider an internal Bluetooth card, and if you video chat with friends, you’ll want to pick up a webcam. And, as we mentioned before, if you don’t already have them, you’ll need a monitor, keyboard, and mouse.You may even want some extra fans or water cooling parts to optimize the cooling in your PC. These are just a few of the extra things you could use, so really think about what you’ll be using this computer for and what other parts you need to buy so you don’t have to take an extra trip to the store (and so you can better budget your money).

Sit back and ponder how you use your current computer, how you’re going to use your new computer, and what that means for the components listed above. If you’re going to do a lot of gaming, a high-end processor and video card are crucial. If you’re building a home theater PC, you’ll want a “good enough” video card, a low-end processor, and a large hard drive to store all your movies. Once you’ve figured it out, come back for our next lesson tomorrow night, where we’ll talk about how to actually shop for the parts you need to build your computer.

Thursday 29 September 2016

Don’t Miss the Wazobia Goodies Independence Sale

Hurry! Nigeria will be 56 come October 1, 2016! As we celebrate our 56th Independence, what better way to commemorate it than with mouthwatering deals specially put together for you! Konga is ushering in the Wazobia Goodies sale from October 1 through to October 3, 2016. This is certainly going to be the biggest sale in October with great discounts across several categories.

Regardless of your tribe and budget, there is certainly an exciting deal for you to take advantage of because this special sale will be filled with unbeatable offers across categories. This is a great opportunity to get those household appliances, electronics, gadgets, fashion items and other things that would definitely make life and living better for you.

If you have also been looking to get a new laptop, a highly functional mobile device, refrigerator for your home, ACs and fans or even fashion wears at affordable prices, look no further as the Wazobia Goodies has got you covered. 

This is also a good opportunity to help our home grown entrepreneurs by buying made in Nigeria brands. You’d be pleasantly surprised at the top quality and durable items some of these brands have in store for you right here on Konga. Save the date and tell your family, friends and loved ones to join the countdown to the Wazobia Goodies Sales by Konga. 

To get started, visit  http://www.konga.com/?k_id=Bamex

Spread the word!! The Wazobia Goodies is here, bigger value for less!! 

Saturday 24 September 2016

GET YOUR COMPREHENSIVE TEXTBOOKS AT AN AFFORDABLE PRICE


Do you wish to get any book online and discouraged by the high price?
Then you don't have to worry anymore because we've got your back, simply send a mail to tosinshobola@gmail.com stating the title and author of the book(s).

Happy Sunday everyone.

30 RELATIONSHIP TIPS FOR WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN

Some thoughts to make you smile, perhaps rethink your current choices, and/or prepare for future relationships. Most of these apply equally to BOTH genders...

1) If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

2) If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay....

3) Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Likewise, don't make excuses for your own bad behaviour. Take action, make change, and created the life you deserve.

4) Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Trust and value your own feminine wisdom.

5) Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. And don't try to change him either, it just doesn't work. The only person you can change is yourself. As painful as it may be, sometimes it's better to step out of a bad relationship and step into your own happiness.

6) Slower is better. Some of the greatest love stories of all time took years to develop. Sure, love at first sight may be romantasized in the movies, but, like Rome, enduring love is not built in a day...

7) Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. (That means you need to find your own happiness first... And remember: Happiness is a journey, not a destination.)

8) If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't 'be friends.' A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

9) Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

10) Don't stay because you think 'it will get better.' You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

11) The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

12) Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't take responsibility when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

13) Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

14) Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you; if something bothers you, speak up.

15) Be aware that healthy relationships are built on trust, and that trust takes time to develop. It may be unwise to share too much of yourself and about yourself too quickly.

16) You cannot change anyone else's behavior. Change comes from within.

17) Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are, even if he has more education or a better job. And don't ever make him feel less important than you are either.

18) Do not make him into a quasi-god; he's a man, nothing more, nothing less.

19) Never let a man define who you are. (Be a queen, full of your own power and glory!)

20) Never borrow someone else's man, if he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

21) A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

22) All men are NOT dogs. (But men beware: bad behaviour may land you in the doghouse LOL!)

23) You should not be the one doing all the bending, compromise is a two-way street.

24) You need time to heal between relationships. There's nothing useful about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

25) You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complementary, not supplementary.

26) Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

27) Allow him to miss you sometimes. If a man always know where you are all the time, and you're always readily available to him - he may take you for granted. Remember you have your own life to live; it may not always include him.

28) Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't listen to you and try to meet your needs; keep him in your radar but get to know others.

29) Become a BITCH (Babe In Total Control of Herself).

30) Above all: love yourself first!

Friday 23 September 2016

8 SIGNS HE IS EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE & 5 WAYS TO WIN HIM OVER

Trying to build a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person can be an extremely draining and frustrating experience. Although there are many who attempt to tear down the walls in an effort to win the heart of their emotionally unavailable love interest, most fail and wind up with their hearts broken in the process. At times, the signs of a person struggling with these emotional issues can be pretty apparent. Other times, they can be masked and mistaken for something else. This can happen in a marriage or in an extramarital relationship, even though they are two separate and very different settings, the signs of an emotionally unavailable person are the same. Are you unsure if the guy you’re seeing is emotionally unavailable? Read on then…

  1. He uses sex as his way of demonstrating his so-called ‘emotion’.
  2. It feels like he blows hot and cold.
  3. He’s quick out the gate in pursuing you, gets your attention, and then goes into a slow canter.
  4. He mentions his ex or things that happened between the two of them often.
  5. He isn’t the affectionate type and thinks a 10-minute roll in the hay is being romantic and passionate. He never asks what you want but takes it for granted that he’s satisfied you above and beyond.
  6. He refuses to talk about his feelings, and/or he gets irritated or defensive when you bring up your feelings about something.
  7. He has a push-pull strategy. He tends to pursue you hard toward the beginning. But once you let him know he won you over, he pulls away.
Can an Emotionally Unavailable Man Change?

If your partner was always like this, even before you were married, it’s going to be hard to help him change (but still – possible). Some men are emotionally unavailable because of their childhood, their relationship with their mother or even past traumatic relationships.

Here are the 5 things he/you can do to become emotionally open:
  • Spend plenty of time with each other – and when I say that, I do not mean: watching tv, cuddling, doing hobbies together or going out on dates; I mean spend time together to share openly about how you FEEL about things that are most important to you.
  • Know and become intimate with his emotional self – He might want to spend time in quiet meditation or reflection focusing on giving himself warm love and connecting with the range of emotions inside him. If he can’t do that alone or finds it hard, then you and him can do it together. 
  • Share your deepest dreams and deepest fears – This includes things you might have never told anyone. Allow the person to love you for who you really are. This requires trust in the other person, trusting them they will never use it to hurt you in any way. 
  • Allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable – Most people confuses vulnerability with weakness. In actuality, being vulnerable does not involve the actual experience of harm. True, there is a chance that you’ll be criticized, rejected, taken advantage of or even hurt but you cannot be truly loved if you can’t open yourself to be loved.
  • Don’t rush anything – Emotional health and maturity isn’t easy to achieve. It takes time, effort and energy. As he practices his new behaviour and strengthens his ability to become an emotionally available and emotionally expressive person, your emotional connection will become stronger, deeper,and it will more likely last.

Thursday 22 September 2016

WHY? and When?

BY KELVIN SHOBOLA

I chose to ask Why about somethings that are not right but are condoled by the masses.

Why would some people be suffering and some spend the country's money anyhow by flying their make-up artist out of the country for make-up. Imagine the absurdity?

When would we take that bold step of rejecting campaign gifts and vote for what is right for the country?

Why would someone say "the man dies in all who keep silent in the face of tyranny" and does not exhibit it in this democratic tyranny we are facing. Why?

Why would a party because of their hunger for Power promise what they cannot uphold after getting the power. Why?

Why are the youths fighting and killing each other when we are suppose to unite and fight those that does not want the country to grow.

Why must we allow our politicians in power be enjoying immunity when they are extremely corrupt.

When will Nigerian youths rise against god-fatherism in this country.

Why can't we continue the projects of our predecessors but chose to ignore or even demolish it because the predecessor is not a member of our political party. Why?

Why do we keep praising our corrupt leaders in our religious institutions instead of telling them the bitter truth.

Why has the last hope of the poor man contaminated?

When will 1 dollar become 1 naira?

When will we have a genuine free and fair election?

 So many Whys' on my mind but will like to stop here.

We shall definitely OVERCOME in Jesus's Name. Amen.

Wednesday 21 September 2016



KongaPay: How to Buy Product at Cheaper Prices on Konga with KongaPay.


KongaPay is a safe and secure payment method which is created in partnership with leading banks in Nigeria to ensure trust and safety for both buyers and sellers. It was majorly created to meet the needs of shoppers on Konga.com.

KongaPay services have been expanded beyond those walls to meet the needs of Nigerians seeking a payment solution that is accessible, secure, convenient, easy to use and affordable.

KongaPay offers the following services:
  • Bank transfers (with ZERO transaction fee)
  • Airtime Purchase (MTN, Glo, Etisalat and Airtel)
  • TV Subscription fee payment (GOTV & DSTV)
  • Purchases on online platforms including Konga.com among others.
Benefits of KongaPay

1. Registering for KongaPay allows you to pay for orders on Konga.com at a much cheaper price as it offers a limited offer price for users with KongaPay and it also offers 100% buyer protection.

2. You could also get a refund, Refunds happened instantly to your bank account when you cancel an order or request a refund.

3. Security, Your transaction details are encrypted and transmitted between Konga and your Bank. There are no third parties involved in the transaction

Guidelines for Registration for KongaPay
  • Go to http://www.konga.com/?k_id=Bamex to create your Konga Account.
  • Make your order and click on Proceed to checkout.
  • Fill in your Delivery address and click on KongaPay as your mode of payment then click Confirm Payment.
  • Click on Register here because you do not have a KongaPay account yet. 
  • After registration, you will be able to get your order(s) at a discounted price.

























FIVE WAYS TO MAKE YOUR PUSH UP MORE PRODUCTIVE

Activate your entire body, build more muscle, and do it safely.

BY ROB KING


The pushup is one of the most basic and effective upper body exercises. Although it’s a fairly simple exercise, most people make a lot of mistakes. These five tips turn the standard push up from a chest/shoulders/triceps move into a full body exercise which means more muscle,increased strength and faster results.

1. Brace Your Core
To avoid rounding your spine and doing “banana back” pushups, try squeezing or "bracing" your core. Imagine that you're going to get punched in the belly. Naturally, you’ll flex to guard. Bracing reduces the risk of injury by enforcing a neutral spine and engages your core, making the pushup of a full body exercise.

2. Squeeze Your Glutes
Your glutes are the one of biggest muscle groups in your body and often times the most inactive. By squeezing your glutes you will protect your lower back, improve posture, provide full body tension and help maintain a neutral spine.

3. Pack Your Elbows
A common tendency during pushups is to flare your elbows wide - a mistake and can lead to shoulder and rotator cuff issues. Instead, pack your elbows in towards your sides, trying to have less space between your armpits. “Stack” your joints, with your hands under your elbows, and your elbows under your shoulders. This will improve long-term shoulder health and recruit your triceps and lats more. Having joints in line also creates better range of motion in the shoulders and chest.

4. Grip The Floor
Instead of having your fingers together and pointing straight up, try this instead: Change your hand position so your thumbs are facing each other. Next open your fingers and grip the floor. This immediately creates more full body tension, tightens the lats and triceps and helps engage more upper back muscles.

5. Push The Ground Away From You
Instead of pushing yourself off the ground, think of pushing the floor away from you. This force production translates into full body tension and creates a bracing effect throughout the whole body. By pushing the ground away from you, you’ll use more muscles making the push up more of a full body exercise.

To be continued.

Tuesday 20 September 2016

VALUE

Relationship with God

By Kelvin Shobola

This aspect is the most important one because God is the one that gives true value to man if we stay connected to him. One thing we should always assure ourselves of is that God thoughts for us are of good and not evil so no matter the challenges we are currently facing, we should know that it's temporary as God does not sleep nor slumber and he sees everything.
Let's not be preoccupied with the things of this world because if we are not careful, it might lead to destruction (I pray that will not be our potion in Jesus's name) so we need to move closer to God in this recession period and believe in him completely.
The following are the ways in which we can have a good relationship with God.

1. Confess your sins before him as he is faithful and just to forgive us.
2.Cross-check your friends to avoid moving with people that will drag us into sinful acts.
3. Find a good bible-based church and adhere to God's principles.
4.Create time to read his word.
5.Lets think of things that are pure, honest,just,lovely as contained in Philippians 4:8 and also guide our heart with all diligence at all times.

We would be launching our website soon where you can have access to our articles for free and so many other things.

Have a blessed night rest.

Monday 19 September 2016

VALUE

RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS

by Kelvin Shobola

Hope we had a wonderful day?

We will be looking at how to relate with others such as our friendship with people, Jobs/Businesses, Relative and Single/Marriage life.

1. Friendship with people: The people we relate determines our value in the society which is why we have to be selective with the people we relate with and also tag those that are not adding to us in anyway as Hi-Friends or Just Friends and those that are asset to us as Must-Friends. It is easier to make friends faster from anywhere in the world with the advent of social media platforms so we have to be mindful of it because friends can either make you or bring us down.

2. Jobs/Businesses: Let's place value on our job or business because what we don't value will be devalued by the people around us. If we are working in an organisation that is not paying well with myriads of bills to settle, lets not be discouraged by leaving the job because if we stay diligent in that position, God will surprise us which is why it is written that if we are diligent with little things, he will uplift us to bigger things. How appreciative are we for that business that has been given to us which we fail to value because of the poor Return On Investment (ROI). The funniest part is that there are some people that are seriously praying and fasting for half of the investment you possess so lets change our perception. The reason why the business is not bringing forth the anticipated profit might be from our end so lets use the inward to relate well with the outward.

3. Relatives: We should be careful because most relatives are self-centered (take it or leave it) and will want us to straighten their backs not minding that our backs too are bent like theirs. Let learn to say "NO" if not, we will be taken as a fool. I am not saying we shouldn't help our relatives, i am only saying we should apply wisdom with a clear understanding of our engagements.

4. Single/Marriage life: It is sweet to be married but sweeter to be single because as a single person, there is time for personal development unlike when we are married that lots of issues starts evolving without time for one's self. Let's to allow others to push us to make the wrong decision in terms of marriage for the fact that you are 30 years as a woman does not mean that you have to say Yes to anyone that comes your way, have a Flexible standard so that anyone that will be approaching you will see your value and appreciate you. As a guy, control yourself not to fall victim of liability ladies that are out there, have a Flexible standard (the reason for the use of flexible standard is because some of us have rigid standard which is the reason why people are not approaching us). The truth is "Love is not Blind" because ladies or guys don't come to you for a serious relationship without having a reason to so it is not blind in anyway. Another thing is as a guy stop looking for a lady that is "ready-made" because the lady (if you meet one) will always see you as an opportunist except you have something to offer that is beneficial to her. Lastly, Marriage is a life time commitment to someone so let's stay faithful and stop listening to advises from friends that are not married and know nothing about marriage. The truth is if we are not careful, they would steal the joy of our marriage and it will be devalued by everyone.

In everything we do, lets think right and act right.

To be continued... 

Sunday 18 September 2016

VALUE

RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE'S SELF

by Kelvin Shobola

The intrinsic daily communication with our inner being brings about the value we place on ourselves. A man who is not in tuned with himself or herself will live life based on people's perception about them. 
Relationship with one's self brings to fruition our true identity which will shape the way we relate with people, our spiritual life, our finance, our thought etc. It's a discovery that has to be discovered by everyone because we have been uniquely gifted by God.
The following are the ways in which we can come to oneness with ourselves:

1. Observation: To discover who we truly are, we have to be self-conscious, that is, we have to observe the activities we do that brings us joy, happiness and a sense of fulfillment. The truth about life is when we pursue success and we are diligent in what we do, money will definitely come. We have to also understand our temperament because a well-groomed Christian or Muslim with the highest certificate without the knowledge of temper management will be tagged wrongly by the society because most people don't want to associate with a bad tempered person. If we can master our temperament effectively, we would be able to manage people well without involving ourselves in any conflict because we know what triggers that unpalatable mood.

2. Meditation: This is the second stage where we have to connect with ourselves mentally. It can also be called "Pre-action" because we would have to reflect on the real 'YOU' as no one can know you better than you. Start planning on how to actualize your purpose not dreams because your dreams might not be where your purpose lays. The truth is God has opened our eyes to our purpose in life so we shouldn't be asking or seeking elsewhere to discover it, it's inside 'YOU'.
According to the popular saying, we must be it before we become it, that is, we must become something mentally before we can become it physically. According to the story of David in the bible, he was chosen by God to become the king of Israel and was anointed by Prophet Samuel but he was not crowned immediately because he was not ready for it mentally which took him some years before he finally became the king of Israel.

3. Action: This is where all our plans are brought to fruition. To be successful in this stage, we must learn to prioritize things, that is, we should know what we want to achieve at a particular period of time and stay faithfully to it without procrastination. Another important thing is we have to seek advise from people in that field but be mindful of their advise as it has to be fine-tuned to be in accordance with our purpose/goal in life.    

4. Review: Every goal/purpose has to be reviewed either weekly, monthly or yearly to amend some lapses and also improve on it. The reason why most people fail in life is because we don't review the gifts that has been be bequeathed unto us for improvement and expansion. According to the parable of the Master and his 3 Slaves, he gave his slaves gifts, one 5, another 3 and the last 1 and left. The one with 5 gifts planned and invested with it while the one with 3 gifts did same but the last slave went to keep his because he was comfortable with survival instincts when the Master came, he was happy with the first and second slave and furious with the last one because he was given a life but didn't manage it well. The Master collected the 1 that was given to him.

Let try to always review our unique gifts that has been given to us with a mind set of improving and expanding it then more will be given to us.

Happy Sunday to everyone.

To be continued.

  

Saturday 17 September 2016

VALUE

By Kelvin Shobola

What is Value?

Value is the importance that is placed on an object either animate or inanimate.


According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, Value is the relative worth or importance of a phenomenon.


According to Wikipedia, Value denotes the degree of importance of something or action, with the aim of determining what actions are best to do or what way is best to live.


As defined, it has everything to do with the worth of something which in-turn makes such a phenomenon important to us.


Albert Einstein said we should "Strive not to be a success but rather to be of value" which means that to become successful, we must learn the act of value because value teaches management of everything in life.

Value cuts across many aspects of life such as our jobs, our relationship with people in general (spouse, family, friends, our relationship with God and our country etc.

My focus on Value will be on Relationship with one's self, Relationship with others and Relationship with God. These 3 aspect will touch on everything we need to know about how we relate with ourselves (inner being), how we relate with others that comprise of many things and not just people and how we relate with God.

Stay blessed.

To be continued. 
   .

Friday 16 September 2016


10 Ideas: Connecting With Your Kids

In today’s activity-packed society, it’s more important than ever to intentionally connect with your kids.

By Mary May Larmoyeux



Children are a heritage from the Lord.
—Psalm 127:3 

In today’s activity-packed society, it’s more important than ever to intentionally connect with your kids. Here are 10 ideas that can help you get to know your children better and pass on a legacy of faith and fun.

1. During dinner ask everyone to share one piece of both good news and bad news from the day.

2. Have regular “Kids’ Nights to Cook.” Set up a restaurant atmosphere in your home and create some lifetime memories. Little ones will enjoy decorating the table and making special menus for the evening.

3. Visit a local bookstore with your children and ask them to help you choose a family devotional. Then work through it together.

4. If you have a sports enthusiast in your home, ask him or her to give you and your spouse regular updates about what’s going on in the world of sports—both locally and nationally.

5. Do a one-on-one activity with each child at least once a week.

6. Take turns choosing Bible verses that the entire family can memorize together. Using a special journal or notebook, ask the children to record each verse after the family has memorized it together.

7. Once a week after mealtime, draw names to see who will be in the “hot seat.” (Discard each name after it is drawn so everybody will eventually be chosen.) Family members will ask the person in the “hot seat” a question that cannot be answered “Yes” or “No.”

8. When bringing the kids to school, take turns being prayer warriors—praying for each person’s day.

9. After dinner, rotate sharing a “joke of the day.”

10. Have regular family nights doing something fun that everyone enjoys.

Thursday 15 September 2016


8 Ideas: Making Time for Your Spouse

How to keep marriage on the front burner of life.

By Mary May Larmoyeux


The following 8 ideas can help you and me intentionally make time for our spouse:

1. Cultivate a common interest. Your spouse should be your best friend, and friends enjoy spending time with one another. If you and your spouse have different hobbies, find something that you both enjoy doing and do it together. You may want to go bike riding, walk together at the end of a long day, play tennis, or learn how to ballroom dance. Shared experiences enrich marriages and deepen friendship.


2. Have a regular date night. If you don’t have a relative nearby who would gladly watch your kids, then consider swapping babysitting with a friend on a regular basis. For example, you would watch their kids on the first Friday of every month and they would watch your kids on the second Saturday of every month.

With a little imagination, you can also plan some great dates at home … not only while the kids are sleeping, but also while they are enjoying pizza or watching a special movie.

3. Try new adventures together. We only live this life once. Try doing something different to force yourself out of the rut of normal day-to-day living. If you and your spouse would like to do something a little more daring, consider activities such as skydiving, scuba diving, mountain climbing, etc. or any adventurous things you can think of.

4. Write love letters to one another and read them over a romantic dinner.Writing letters is almost a lost art form today. You may want to redeem it by regularly expressing your love to your spouse in a letter. Then read it to your spouse over a romantic dinner.

You could purchase special wooden boxes for your love letters. Or, record them in individual journals as a lasting reminder to your legacy of your love for one another.

5. Set aside regular time to talk with one another—without any distractions.Make time to focus on one another and talk about the day’s events. When our children were young, my husband and I tried to visit together for 10-15 minutes before dinner each evening—just the two of us. You and your spouse may want to do this after the kids go to bed. The important thing is to share heart-to-heart and face-to-face.

If the kids are in school, you may want to have lunch together once a week. Put it on the calendar and make definite appointments. I read about a pastor who did this for years. He had a standing invitation for lunch one day a week that could not be broken—lunch with his wife.

6. Read a book together and discuss it over coffee at a local coffeehouse or bookstore. Take turns choosing the books. If a movie has been made out of the book, read and discuss it together and then watch the movie. Compare the book to the movie.

You could also go through one of the HomeBuilders Bible studies® as a couple. Although these Bible studies are designed for small groups, you could do one with your spouse. Studies include Building Teamwork in Marriage, Improving Communication in Your Marriage, and Growing Together in Christ.

7. Be accountable to one another. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.”

You may want to ask your spouse to keep you accountable in a certain area. For example, I have a habit of over-committing myself and having way too many things on the to-do list. My husband is great about bringing me back to earth and helping me establish a more balanced schedule.

Being accountable to our spouse requires one-on-one time—whether it’s over coffee in the morning or evaluating a to-do list together in the afternoon.

“Accountability gives each marriage partner freedom and access to the other,” Dennis Rainey writes. He adds that it means asking for advice and gives a spouse the freedom to share honest observations. “It means we're teachable and approachable. We both need to be accountable to the other because each partner is fallible and quite capable of using faulty judgment.”

8. Pray together. When we regularly pray with our spouse, our souls and hearts are uniquely knit together. Sadly, we’ll forget many of the ways God answers our prayers unless we write them down.

You may want to record how God answers your prayers in a notebook. Once or so a year, go on an overnight getaway with your spouse and review it together. Spend some time thanking the Lord for all He has done.

God bless your marriage and the desires of our heart...

Wednesday 14 September 2016

Marriage


When Your Marriage Is Dying

Reconciliation and forgiveness are the keys to recovery.

By Laura Petherbridge


Unforgiveness is like acid; it destroys the vessel in which it's stored. —Author Unknown

The very word reconciliation causes many separated couples to break out in a cold sweat. They panic at the thought of exposing their battered hearts to another potential beating. They're certain they can't face another rejection or betrayal. Sadly, few people are taught how to guard their heart and require trust to be re-earned when the covenant has been broken. They're so determined to avoid being vulnerable, they won't entertain thoughts of reconciliation. Yet, even marriages that have gradually decayed over many years can be restored.
Let me state clearly that I detest divorce; the devastation involved is heart-wrenching. I firmly believe it should be avoided if at all possible. I am totally committed to marital restoration and would dance a jig if a "going out of business" sign could be hung on my divorce-recovery ministry. However, the reality is that it takes two people to get married and only one to get divorced. And herein lies the problem.
For the person who wants the marriage to be restored, the most perplexing question is "How do I know when to accept the fact that my spouse does not want this marriage and recognize this as reality in my life?" Most church leaders, parents, pastors, family members, and individuals seek a "formula" to answer this question. Unfortunately, there is no such recipe because each situation is unique and should be addressed as such.
However, there are some essential steps couples must take if reconciliation is to be successful.

First, both spouses must be one hundred percent willing to do the hard work necessary to repair the marriage. The journey will be challenging, exasperating, and at times painful, but the results are worth it.

Second, if one or both spouses has had an intimate relationship (physical or emotional) with a third party, all communication with that person—phone calls, letters, e-mails, or visits—must end. If the third party is a co-worker, a job change should seriously be considered.

Third, both parties must be willing to go to counseling. The couple should take time to find the right Christian counselor, someone who is qualified to deal with the issues they're struggling with such as adultery, addiction, or abuse. Finding the right counselor is like buying a pair of shoes; sometimes you have to try on several pairs before you find the right fit.

Fourth, restoring a marriage takes time. Rushing the process and avoiding or downplaying painful issues can lead to separation and divorce. It's tragic when a marriage that could have been reconciled is destroyed because the root cause was never treated.

A marriage can't be restored if only one person wants reconciliation, but that doesn't mean you should give up hope. Just because your spouse isn't willing to reconcile today doesn't mean he or she will never consider it. God understands how hard it is to pray life into a dead marriage. He will give you strength and wisdom and knowledge of what to pray. He will help you know when you should pursue reconciliation and when you should accept that the marriage is irreconcilable. "Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know" (Jeremiah 33:3 NASB).
The other day my wife came home from work and said she's leaving me because she doesn't love me anymore. I'm stunned that my marriage might be over. I don't want it to end. What can I do?
I know this is a fierce blow, but do your best to calmly ask your wife to give you a more in-depth answer as to why she's leaving you.
Be careful about how you react to her rejection. Angry outbursts won't help you reconcile the marriage. Neither will self-pity, whining, clinging, begging, or threats of suicide. Getting even by dating or having an affair also won't work. Those behaviors communicate to your wife that she is off the hook. As an added bonus, they relieve her guilt because she then feels justified in leaving.
You can tell your wife that although you're deeply hurt, you're willing to learn from her where you may have failed the marriage. Ask for reconciliation, but recognize that she might not respond positively at first.
Explain why you believe there is hope for your marriage and the steps you're willing to take to improve the relationship. Share with your wife that you value the marriage so deeply you're willing to go for counseling. You can't force her to agree to reconciliation, but you can encourage the decision and you can pray.
One consideration: I've observed that people having an affair often ease their conscience by saying, "I don't love you anymore" or "I'm just not happy," rather than saying, "I'm leaving you for someone new." If your wife is having either an emotional or physical affair, you'll need to see a counselor.
My husband left, and I can't afford our huge house. My friends tell me to sell it, but I'm afraid that will destroy any chances of restoring our marriage. Won't selling the house communicate to my husband that I've given up?
It's normal to assume losing the home you shared will end any hope of restoring the marriage, but it's unfounded. View the sale as a good thing. If finances were an issue in the separation, then downsizing might relieve one stress factor. Remember, reconciling doesn't mean going back to the way things were; it means starting fresh.
I had a year long affair. I've asked my wife to forgive me, but she says she can't ever trust me again. Is there a way to get my wife back?
The cliché "actions speak louder than words" is true. Words aren't enough to prove your repentance. For there to be hope, your wife will need to see over a period of time that you're a changed man.
Communicate your sincerity by doing the following:

Get counseling even if she won't go with you. Find out why you had an affair—it's crucial for             healing.
Get into a Christian men's accountability group.
Read books such as The Man in the Mirror by Patrick Morley, which address men's issues.
Practice humility. Don't demand, manipulate, or try to control your wife's actions or feelings.
Admit that you've demonstrated that you're untrustworthy. Mention concrete ways—such as meeting with the pastor, giving her access to your e-mail, and not traveling alone—in which             you're willing to be held accountable so that trust can be rebuilt. Let your wife make suggestions,     too.
Pray for God to soften her heart.

If you do divorce, remain faithful to your marriage covenant and continue to pray for restoration. If your wife remarries, then there is nothing more you can do.
My friends tell me I need to forgive my ex-husband, but I don't think I need to until he asks to be forgiven. He deserves to suffer for what he did to me. Why should I forgive him when he has never admitted he was wrong?
Forgiveness isn't a fun process, but if you want to mend, it's vital. "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15). Notice God says nothing about waiting until you feel like forgiving or that you only have to grant forgiveness if the person asks for it. God expects you to take the first step, beginning with a willing heart.

The ability to pardon another person comes from God, not your own strength. He will help you. Your role is to surrender and desire His way above your own. This may take time, especially if the offenses were severe. Walk toward forgiveness—the initial step is the hardest. 

Monday 12 September 2016

Don't let recession prevent you from achieving your purpose in life.


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Sunday 11 September 2016














11 WAYS TO MANAGE CURRENT ECONOMIC RECESSION

1. Don't allow depression to weigh you down in this season due to job loss but stand firm and think of a lucrative business to venture into.

2. Write out a list of lucrative businesses and be decisive about a particular business.

3. Make research on marketing strategies and coin one for your business.

4. Write out your business plan.

5. Mentors: Make research about your mentor, juxtapose his or her strength, weakness and philosophy in that field to help kick start your business.

6. Social Media: This is the best place to build network and connect the world with your business or products. N.B: Your product/business advertisement should focus on the Why's more than the What's because that's what complies people to patronise you.

7. Read books: There are myriads of books you can read online on anything so try to manage your time to focus on self-development.

8. Time Management: You must be conscious of your time and try to manage it well.

9. Before going to bed, think of what you have achieved that day.

10. Finance Management: Ability to differentiate between wants and needs is the best ingredient to finance management.

11. Friends: Move with people that will inspire you not people that will uninspire or bore you.

To be continued...