Based On These 5 Elements, find Out Your Personality Type And Energy

Are you water, metal, earth, fire, or wood?

By Anonymous

Ancient Chinese legends describe the world, as well as the entire universe, as being tied together by five elements: Water, metal, earth, fire, and wood.

Without a balance with all five elements, chaos is free to do whatever it wants. We must treat ourselves the same way as the five elements since they are the essential building blocks for our world and many others scattered throughout the heavens.

However, as humans, we only have either one or two of the elements that are much more prominent than the others are. Each element is able to describe certain details about your personality type that would otherwise be hidden.

So, which of the five elements do you fall under? Take this personality test to find out.

1. Elemental Water

As a person who relates to the element of water more so than the other four elements, you carry a lot of weight on your shoulders from how much knowledge you have obtained over the years.

Like water, you seek to be the gentle stream that carves out canyons, forming some of the world's greatest masterpieces with little to no effort as you demonstrate all of the necessary steps required in order for you and others to achieve success.

You care deeply about those around you, have a very detailed opinion when it comes to giving advice to others about what's best for them, and you do everything in your power to make sure that balance is in order.

2. Elemental Metal

Just as metal acts to be the necessary support for a majority of the things on earth as well as the rest of the universe, you seek the same kind of stability. You are a person who cannot deal without structure in your life and prefer others to have a pretty good idea as to what they want, where they're headed, and what they plan to do once they get there.

You are very calm, hard to anger, and you act well under pressure whenever the circumstances get a bit difficult. You never fall, for you are the pillar of this life and many others that you care for.

3. Elemental Earth

Those who are much more prominent with the element of earth are constantly seeking to bring peace to the world around you. This makes you one of the most amazing problem solvers as you are very reliable, steady, and your relentless need for unity makes you one of the best natural-born leaders.

Not everyone has as much insight as you do when it comes to dealing with emotions and you do not take other people's troubles lightly simply because of how empathetic you are towards everyone. Just as the earth does, you will never stop trying to be the peacekeeper you know you can be.

4. Elemental Fire

As a person who associates themselves with the element of fire, you are a person who is driven by the things that you are most passionate about in the world. There is nothing that can stand in your way, especially when you want it bad enough, and you'll do anything it takes to achieve success.

Sometimes you can be a little bit unstable, but this is more than okay since you are always taking your failures as a hard lesson. Your personality type is extremely contagious and it shows whenever you go out with a group of friends or to a party. You really do bring the whole room together and encourage others to fight for the things they believe in.

5. Elemental Wood

Those that relate to the element of wood are usually the people who crave adventure and never truly stop wandering the world as to find all of its grandest mysteries to discover. Even though they are somewhat competitive in reaching their goals faster than others, they still like to enjoy the journey for what it is.

These brave travelers know just what to do whenever adversity rears its ugly head and they aren't going to stop for anything minor like spilled milk. To these wanderers, just keep moving forward so you aren't dwelling on the past so much and finally allow yourself make new memories for the future.

Back to our question, which element do you fall under?

Family Tips- How to Control Spending...

THE CHALLENGE

A look at your bank statements and bills reveals that your money is slipping away like sand that slips through your fingers. You have been married for only a short time, and your spending is out of control. Is your spouse to blame? Not so fast! Think as a team, and consider some factors that may have caused both of you to get into this predicament. *

WHY IT HAPPENS

Adjustment. If you were living at home before you got married, you may be new to the world of paying bills and sharing expenses. It could also be that you and your spouse have different approaches to money. For example, one might be more inclined to spend while the other is more inclined to save. It takes time for a couple to adjust and develop an agreed-upon method of handling money.

Like weeds in a garden, debt that is ignored will simply grow—and grow

The “invisible money” trap. It is easy to overspend when you cannot see the money leaving your wallet or purse. That may be the case if you handle most of your transactions by credit or debit card, Internet purchasing, and electronic banking. The lure of easy credit can also make it easy for newlyweds to overspend.

Whatever the cause, money issues can tear at the seams of your marriage. “Most couples report money as a top problem, no matter how much they have,” says the book Fighting for Your Marriage. “Money is a ripe area for conflict.”

 WHAT YOU CAN DO

Resolve to cooperate. Instead of blaming each other, work as a team to bring spending under control. Decide at the outset that you will not allow this issue to drive a wedge between you.—Bible principle: Ephesians 4:32.

Set up a budget. Write down all of your expenses, no matter how small, for a month. That will help you to figure out where your money is going and to identify any unnecessary expenditures. “You have to stop the bleeding.” 

Make a list of your necessary expenses, including food, clothing, rent or mortgage, car payments, and the like. Put a ‘price tag’ next to each category, projecting how much it will cost you within a given time, perhaps a month.—Bible principle: Luke 14:28.

“The borrower is a slave to the lender.”—Proverbs 22:7

Allocate funds each month for separate expenses (food, rent, fuel, and so forth). Some do this by putting cash in envelopes, one for each expense category. * If an envelope becomes depleted, they will either stop spending in that category or transfer money from another envelope.

Rethink your view of possessions. Happiness does not depend on having the latest things. After all, Jesus said: “Even when a person has an abundance, his life does not result from the things he possesses.” (Luke 12:15) Often, your spending habits indicate whether you believe those words.—Bible principle: 1 Timothy 6:8.

Make adjustments. Things like cable TV and going out to eat may sound affordable at first, but they can hurt financially in the long run. We had to learn to say no to some things in order to live within our means.

Cheers!

How Can I Keep My Mind Off Sex?

What you can do

Choose your associates carefully. If your friends and classmates start to talk about immoral sex, joining in will only make it more difficult for you to control your thoughts. Often, you can find a way to leave such conversations without appearing self-righteous and inviting ridicule.

Shun immoral entertainment. Much of today’s entertainment is designed to arouse improper sexual feelings. The Bible’s counsel? “Let us cleanse ourselves of every defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in God’s fear.” (2 Corinthians 7:1) Steer clear of entertainment that stimulates sexual desires.

Remember this: Sexual feelings aren’t evil in themselves. After all, God created man and woman to have a strong attraction for each other, and satisfying sexual desire is proper within marriage. So if you experience intense sexual urges, don’t think that you’re inherently bad or that you’re just not cut out for moral cleanness.

The bottom line: You can choose what you will let your mind dwell on. Both in your thinking and in your conduct, you can be chaste if you choose to!

Would you allow viruses to invade your computer? Then why invite immoral thoughts into your mind?

Ladies, If You’re Doing This On Instagram … Please STOP

If you're not getting paid, why sell yourself?

By Anonymous

To those young women posting Instagram nudes: You might be beautiful. You might be built. You might love your body and have the confidence to show it proudly... and that's great.

Seriously, I'm happy for you (no sarcasm). In today's fast-food, overindulged, carbohydrate-addicted world, maintaining a hot figure is challenging, so you get full marks for your efforts and workout regimen.

But let's get real for a minute or two, shall we?

Let's not kid ourselves. You can look in the mirror and feel proud of your body. You can walk down the street and receive looks and compliments on your beauty. That's not the reason you're on Instagram, and it certainly isn't the reason you're posing half-naked.

If you think that posting these pics is what you need in order to be happy with yourself, think again!

Posing in a lace bra and a G-string on Instagram doesn't give the perception that you are a "lingerie model," it makes you look cheap, like the only value you offer is your body. 

The psychology behind your behavior in taking these nude pics is very straightforward: you're suffering from a lack of self-esteem and are looking externally to make yourself feel good about you. But you're kidding yourself. It's called self-esteem because it emanates from the self.

And while we're talking, let's make something crystal clear: what you're doing isn't "modeling."

Victoria's Secret models pose on a professional photo set to sell lingerie and associated products for a company. In short, they get paid for modeling. They don't bare their pink parts dancing to Usher under a fluorescent bathroom light, sporting a pouty duckface with a Toy Story shower curtain as a backdrop.

Models work. What the hell are you doing? I'll tell you: giving peeks of your naked self away to random lurkers/stalkers/pedophiles, that's what.

A reality check: Any picture of a naked/half-naked woman will get LOTS of views online. It doesn't make you special, it makes you an adult film star, but without the paycheck.

Nothing wrong with posing nude for kicks or paychecks, if that's what you want to do. But please stop fooling yourself into thinking that the "likes" and "shares" you get are because they like you. They like the show you are giving them; they don't care about who you are.

My advice: If you want to be a model, DO IT! Put together a portfolio, pay your dues, and follow your dream. Otherwise, you are shaking your stuff for someone else's cheap thrill, while pretending it boosts your self-esteem as you get views on your pics.

You can choose to be whatever you want to be: a doctor, model, business woman, adult film star, whatever you want. Just do it with some dignity. Don't sell your integrity and self-esteem for the price of an affirmative "click here if you think my pink parts are pretty!"

You will only attract the wrong kind of guy that way, and you are selling out women everywhere so let's be thoughtful about what we post on Instagram.

Cheers!

8 Things Guys Like In A Relationship (So Pay Attention, Ladies!)

He may not tell you, but these drive him wild.

By Anonymous

Do you ever wish that guys would just OPEN UP more? It’s difficult to figure out what someone wants or enjoys if they won’t tell you. No matter how simple their desires may be, if you don’t know what they want, it leaves a lot of questions unanswered.

But have no fear! I’ve compiled a list of 8 things guys like about girls — secret things they may never actually come out and tell you. You know it’s really not that hard to make us dudes happy. So, here’s a glimpse into the male mind so you can understand how we think and what we enjoy.

1. When you lay your head on his chest.

Men enjoy feeling as though we are being protective. By laying your head on his chest, this signifies that you feel safe in his arms.

2. When you text him first.

There’s a lot of pressure on guys to be the conversation initiator. However, sometimes he might not know if he’s being too pushy or texting you too much.

Guys like to feel attention, too. So sending him a quick text will let him know that you’re thinking about him. It’s going to brighten his day and spark a good conversation.

3. When you tell him you appreciate him.

Although a man should be able to read your feelings from your actions, some guys need a more direct approach. So, tell him how much you value his effort in the relationship.

4. When you play with his hair while he’s driving/

I didn’t realize how great this was until a woman I was dating did it to me one day. Reach over and lightly scratch the back of his head. It’s guaranteed to make him smile. But, of course, don’t distract him too much while he’s driving.

5. When you brag about him in public.

If he does something special, like an impromptu dinner he arranged for the two of you, then snap a photo of the tablescape and share it. It’s going to show him that you appreciate him and are willing to share your appreciation with the world. Now, some people can go overboard with this so be humbly appreciative and respectful of others.

6. When you listen —​ really listen.

Women know better than anyone that really listening isn’t just a passive activity. When you sit down together, keep his eye contact and genuinely engage in the conversation. It effectively shows how much you care.

7. When you text him when you’re out with your friends.

This is, of course, assuming that you have a guy who is mature enough to understand your need to go out with your friends. So when you are out, text him now and then just saying hello. It’ll make him smile and let him know that you’re thinking about him even when he’s not around.

8. When you're affectionate out of nowhere.

You don’t have to jump all over him in public, but small things like taking his hand while you’re walking make a big difference. You can also hug him in line at the grocery store, hook your arm into his when you’re walking down the street, or give him a peck on the cheek while waiting for the movie to start.

Little things go a long way and paying a little extra attention to how much you value him is going to make the guy in your life feel extra special.

Happy Weekend! Cheers!

Don't Let People Shame You For Being Your Goofy, Open-Hearted Self

People are often cruel. Let your inner light shine brightly anyway.

By Anonymous

You know those fun, bubbly, naturally upbeat people who always seem to endlessly ooze happiness and positivity? Well, not all of us are like that.

While I'm always kind and thoughtful, feeling "joyful" is something I truly struggle with (and have my entire life). In fact, sometimes I am even afraid to feel too happy. And it turns out, I’m not the only one.

"If you ask me the most terrifying, difficult emotion we experience as humans, I would say joy… no question," Dr. Brené Brown, notable shame and vulnerability researcher and bestselling author, once told Oprah.  

But, that's crazy, right? If happiness is what we want most in life, why on earth would experiencing joy feel so scary?

Sure, there's the age-old superstition about the proverbial "other shoe dropping" — the idea that if too many good things happen to you, the Universe will "punish you" by raining down misery and catastrophe.

But there's actually an even more painful (and traumatizing) reason we’re scared to embrace joy in our lives: Humiliation.

Think about it. In order to let true joy in, you must let your guard down. Joy requires an open heart, relaxed mind, and lowered defenses. And in that moment of innocent whole-heartedness, it's easy for some jerk to take a potshot at you and knock you down.

Having joy disrupted by random catastrophe is hard, but what's so much worse is when someone deliberately takes sick pleasure in shaming the joy out you.

Why? Because you were "foolish" enough to show excitement, innocent elation, joyful appreciation or goofy playfulness, and in that moment of exposed vulnerability, the other person goes for your throat. Shaming you for daring to let your guard down. Embarrassing you in front of others for even attempting to enjoy your life and learning how to be happy.

When we feel shame and humiliation this way, as Brown explains in her truly phenomenal book, The Gifts of Imperfection, we either "move away, by withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves... move toward, by seeking to appease and please... or, move against, by trying to gain power over others, by being aggressive, and by using shame to fight shame."

None of the above are healthy or ultimately helpful. So, what should you do when some jerk hurts your heart and humiliates you for being happy?

Chin up, friends. Here are 5 truly powerful ways to bounce back when someone steals your joy and takes the wind out of your sails:

1. Know who to share your joy with in the first place.

In a social media world, our impulse is to tell everyone our business, broadcasting our most precious life moments to anyone who has ever randomly "liked" us. But in doing so, those moments are no longer held sacred.

"Our stories are not meant for everyone,” says Brown. “Hearing them is a privilege. We should always ask ourselves this before we share: ‘Who has earned the right to hear my story?'"

If your sister chips away at you because she's jealous of your marriage, don't share your joy with her. If you don't want bitter people leaving deflating comments on your Facebook wall, don't post that personal update. Choose wisely who you share your stories with. Don't offer up your most poignant life moments to people who won't truly celebrate them with you.

2. Let yourself feel the sting.

“Cruelty always hurts, even if the criticisms are untrue," Brown says in The Gifts of Imperfection. And please know, cruelty hurts because it was meant to.

Someone taking a potshot at your joy wants to watch the light go out of your eyes. They enjoy the idea of hurting you energetically. Their cruel comment is the verbal equivalent of physically slapping you in the face.

You're not weak if you feel the sting of that. So, call a trusted friend and cry if you need to, vent in your journal, admit to someone you trust that the criticism hurt. And then move on to the next step.

3. Stay true to you.

Now that you've been shot in the heart with an arrow of shame and humiliation, it's decision time. Someone is trying to make you play smaller with their hurtful comments. Do you bend to that hater in this moment (and push the arrow further in yourself) or do you stay true to you and pull that sucker out?

If you stop wearing the dress you love because your "friend" passively-aggressively criticized it, she wins; she controls you (and she knows it). So does your competitive co-worker if their snarky comment about your project idea diminishes how much pride and excitement you feel about it.

It's easy to start hiding ourselves to "stay safe" from having our joyful moments shattered, but as Brown says in her book, "Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism. Don't shrink. Don't puff up. Stand your sacred ground... Sacrificing who we are for the sake of what other people think just isn't worth it."

4. Increase your joy with gratitude.

If you only have one light of joy glowing in your heart, it's all the more devastating when someone tries to snuff it out. One of the best ways to cultivate shame resilience is by increasing your stores of inner joy.

And according to Brown, the singlemost powerful and effective way to flood your life with authentic joy is with gratitude.

"In 12 years of research,” she explains, “I've never interviewed a single person who talks about the capacity to really experience and soften into joy who does not actively practice gratitude. Period." The thing is — we think if our life is joyful, then we'll feel grateful. But it's actually the opposite: when you practice gratitude, feelings of joy grow exponentially.

But having an "attitude of gratitude" won't cut it. Gratitude is an action, one you must practice regularly and tangibly. So, write your daily gratitudes down in a journal, create a ritual with your spouse or your kids, and each say what you're grateful for that day as you say goodnight to each other. Doing so will fill your heart with so much light and joy, the sting of petty haters won't last long.

5. Protect other people’s happiness.

Here's the deal: you can't complain about how harsh and horrible it is for someone to burst your joy bubble, and then turn around and cruelly do the same to others. You know how lousy it feels to have someone take a swipe at your happiness, so doing that to others is just… mean.

So your husband laughed "too loud" at a friend's joke. Big deal. So your friend felt excited about an achievement you think is completely stupid. So what? Don't trash talk other people's moments of lightness. The world has enough cruelty and misery in it.

Defend other people's joy like it's your own. As Brown says, "Courage is contagious." Every time you stand up to defend joy (yours or someone else's) you give other people permission to do the same.

Good Morning Readers.

Pick-Me-Up Quotes To Help You Feel A TON Better When You're Down

Step away from the fridge and let these feel-good reminders bring your smile back!

By Anonymous

Ups and downs are normal, and it's impossible to feel positive constantly. The key to bouncing back or finding a positive mindset quickly is having a dependable go-to when you're down.

Uplifting quotes always seem to help us feel better quickly, as well as grateful (a most powerful emotion) or simply help us recognize that we don't have it so bad, and that things could be worse.

There is a challenge with running from what we don't want because the core feeling creating that motivation to run is negative. And, acting from negative motivation just attracts more negative people and situations into our lives.

So here are some uplifting quotes with empowering thoughts to run toward for more positive inspiration. 

1. "Your dreams don't have to be lofty; they just have to be lived." - Kelly Bouchard

Sometimes we feel like our dreams are too big, and we'll never realize them, so it's important to have small dreams as well as large ones. This way, you can reach the smaller ones more easily, and feel a sense of accomplishment and completion. The confidence this builds will make your bigger dreams not only feel more attainable, but you're actually more likely to achieve them. 

2. "It's your life; live it well." - Judge Judy Sheindlin

I admire Judge Judy's guts and boundaries, and I love this quote. We often feel guilty for wanting nice things when other people don't have nearly as much. Who are we to want lavish vacations, nice cars, beautiful homes around the world, financial wealth, and fulfilling relationships? Well, who are we not to want nice things, great people in our lives, and abundance? Many people who achieve abundance outwardly feel guilt or unworthiness internally, which makes it short-lived, or they become ill and can't enjoy it. Remember, it's your life. You're here to feel happy and learn as much as you possibly can.

3. "Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings." - Unknown

We know that fear arises on a daily basis for most of us and focusing on our dreams is a great inspiration that defeats that fear. It energizes us and puts us in a positive mindset. Words are cheap, and actions have always spoken the loudest. And, I'm going to throw in another of my own quotes here regarding faith. "Your faith will always get you through. Make sure you believe in something bigger than you." Faith is not necessarily religion, but it does have the potential to coincide. Find what works best for you, and stay in touch with it daily.

4. "We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason." - Unknown

Sometimes the reason we desperately need an uplifting quote is because someone in our life has really pushed our buttons or dragged us down. Remember that we're here to enjoy life, be happy, and learn as much as we possibly can. We do this by being the best that we can, and empowering other people to exude their best. During this process, we encounter people who we may not choose to have in our lives, but there is something to learn about ourselves from each and every one of them. No one meets by accident. Some people we meet, we realize have so positively impacted our lives that we don't know where we'd be without their influence. This is a great quote for them too.

5. "Taking care of yourself makes you stronger for everyone in your life … including you." - Kelly Rudolph

Women are often brought up to care for everyone else first, and have only the time that's left over for ourselves. That would be okay if there ever was any time left over, but there isn't, and until we schedule it, there may never be. No need to feel guilty taking "Me Time" anymore. Flight attendants instruct us to put our own oxygen mask on first before helping others, in case of an emergency. We can't help anyone if we're dead, and sometimes we die inside taking care of everyone but ourselves. Here's a bonus quote about self-care: "Allowing yourself to take a break is a sign of self-respect."

6. "Negative people need drama like it's oxygen. Stay positive and take their breath away." - Unknown

If you are a positive person, you know the feeling you get around those who are not. You start to feel anxious and maybe a little cranky and down. Realize that negative people like drama. They will tell you their problems with no desire to solve them, because they are getting attention by having problems. If either of you solve the problem, they will have to create another one for their attention-getting strategy. Negative, drama-fueled people are insecure, and dislike those of us who are happier than they are. They feel threatened and want company in their dismay. Rather than getting dragged down by them, keep your positive attitude, and take the wind out of their negative sail. Look at it like a game to make it fun.

7. "Laugh at yourself. It tones your facial muscles and attitude." - Kelly Rudolph

Stop taking yourself so seriously. While not always simple, life is one big, fun-filled event. When you mess up, learn whatever lesson you can and start laughing. If you can read that quote and it doesn't bring a smile, you're too serious. Tone your facial muscles and attitude with a laugh and get on with your day.

8. "Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you've ever imagined." - Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss is frickin' brilliant. This uplifting quote is so empowering that first it brings a smile to my face and then tears, because if we all realized the power and importance of it, the world would be a much more positive place. Just imagine knowing, without a doubt, that you are brave, strong, smart, and beautiful every day. Doesn't that feel great?

9. "It's your life. Be sure you're playing to your strengths instead of simply to other people's weaknesses." - Kelly Rudolph

By taking care of others, we often wind up enabling them rather than empowering them to improve upon themselves. What are you good at? Are you doing that in your life, or do you need to start? Who in your life are you doing too much for — things you should hold them accountable for doing on their own? By allowing them to take responsibility for themselves a little at a time, you can empower them rather than enabling them to remain weak. It's important to know that if guilt is your motivating factor for playing to other people's weaknesses, it will never make you stronger or heal your guilt. Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on to play to your strengths.

10. "May you see sunshine where others see shadows, and opportunities where others see obstacles." - Unknown

Many people you will meet along your journey may see only shadows and obstacles, but wherever those are, the sunshine and opportunities are right there too — and you can find them.

Cheers!

Simple Ways To Beat Boredom In A Relationship (And Why It's Important)

Don't let your relationship get stale.

By Anonymous

Coupledom can be a fragile thing. There are threats everywhere, and even the strongest relationships need to be monitored and protected on a daily basis. From flirtatious friendships and infidelity to blowouts over friends, relatives, and money, relationships are all too easily toppled by big issues.

But it's not just the biggies we need to worry about. There are also smaller, more insidious threats to relationship satisfaction — threats we take for granted as being a normal part of a relationship. 

According to a survey of 3,341 people in monogamous relationships (1,418 men and 1,923 women), we found that a full 25 percent of those surveyed were bored in their current relationship.

Beyond that, another 25 percent of respondents reported being on the brink of becoming bored. That's nearly 50 percent of all couples, and boredom is basically like an attack on our relationship's immune system — once weakened, we're all the more susceptible to a cascade of ailments.

For example, 20 percent of respondents had been unfaithful to their partner at some point as a result of being bored.

So how do you maintain optimum relationship health and protect yourself from the boredom virus? Here are 6 ways to beat bedroom boredom and spice up your marriage:

1. Ask your partner to try something new in the bedroom with you.

The majority of the respondents (69 percent of men and 50 percent of women) were entirely interested in trying something new in the bedroom to combat boredom. 

2. Ask your partner to try something new outside of the bedroom with you.

"Try a new activity together or take lessons in something you aren't familiar with," says Good in Bed researcher Kristen Mark. "A significant body of research suggests that trying new things together can increase excitement in relationships — and that's bound to decrease boredom."

3. Maintain your individuality.

For about 40 percent of our respondents, this wasn't the first relationship in which they've felt bored. Not only that, more than 50 percent of respondents reported feeling bored at work at least once per week while nearly 48 percent indicated feeling bored at home the same amount of time.

In this sense, boredom is contagious, and you have to start with stopping it in yourself. From your career to your friends, to maintaining your own personal passions and interests, being a strong, engaged couple requires being a strong, engaged individual (as my mentor will always say).

4. Get in the 5-to-1 zone.

Studies show that the difference between those relationships that succeed and those that fail is the ability to have a high ratio of positive to negative interactions. It's believed that the ratio should be 5 to 1: five positive interactions for every negative one.

Of course, you can't go through life tallying every interaction, but you can know whether you're fundamentally in a positive or negative territory and start swinging the pendulum back to where it belongs. When you think of a boring moment as a negative moment, it helps you stay aware of this threat. 

5. Keep finding things to talk about.

At the end of the day, it's easy to feel that communication is a chore, that talking to your partner is boring or routine, and that there's nothing new under the sun to possibly talk about.

When you're feeling this way — nodding and half-listening, with no real interest in how your partner's day went — you're in serious danger of getting too detached and disconnected, and becoming vulnerable to things like infidelity, depression, and indifference. 

6. Finally, be selfish about your relationship.

Couples end up having a lot of combined obligations and responsibilities, way more than we ever had as individuals — to family, to friends, to children — and it's easy to put everyone else first as you try to maintain a master schedule.

Don't stop putting your relationship first. From date nights to vacations, to making time for each other, stay selfish. Happiness trickles down to everyone in your life and starts and stops with you.

Cheers!

6 Things Your Kids NEED To See You Do (Daily!)

Make sure they see you making an effort.

By Anonymous

Between busy schedules, daily routines, and blurs of life events, days spent with our families have a tendency to tumble into months and years faster than we realize, and without showing any signs of slowing.

Although we as parents know that we unconditionally love our children more than life itself, it may take a bit of effort to show that emotion and ensure that your child feels safe, happy, and loved in the midst of the everyday chaos that many of us experience. Read through for seven little things you can do every day to make sure your kids feel the love no matter what.

1. Make an effort to have some one-on-one time.

Even on the busiest of days, if your child can see that you're making one-on-one time with them a priority, they will be able to grasp from a young age how truly important they are to you. Whether you plan an intricate outing or only have time to read them a bedtime story, choosing to be present during those times will help your child to feel the love.

2. Put your phone down for them.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in our phones — checking email for two minutes turns into scrolling through Facebook and Instagram while your kid plays beside you for 45 minutes. Choosing to put your phone down to play with them, ignoring the flash of the screen when a nonimportant notification comes through, and avoiding mindless scrolling while they're around are all ways to show them they're more important to you than the internet is.

3. Listen intently.

No matter what your toddler is rambling about, however many times your grade schooler has explained what's going on in the book they're reading, and regardless of how little you actually understand your middle schooler's homework questions, just listen to them.

When your children know you're always listening to the little things, they'll be more likely to come to you with bigger things and feel safe and loved no matter what they're facing.

4. Show them tough love.

Life isn't always sunshine and unicorns, and part of feeling loved is experiencing tough love. Whether you're disciplining them for disobeying the rules or are having to say "no" to something they really want, they may not be happy in the moment, but they will eventually realize that the decisions you made for them were out of love (whether those realizations come minutes later or years later).

5. Laugh out loud.

Joking around, playing funny games, listening to and giggling at the same story they've already told you 13 times, and just being silly in general is so good for you and your kiddos. A lighthearted mood and tons of belly laughs could be the fastest way to a happy, joyful, and loving atmosphere in your home.

6. Say those three magic words.

Even though the word "love" has a tendency to be thrown around flippantly, the phrase "I love you" will never go out of style. Along with those three little words, using other positive words of encouragement will help your child to know you are proud of them, that they deserve to feel empowered, and that you care deeply for them.

SELF Tips- Myriad Ways To Deal When You Catch Someone In A HUGE Lie

Remain calm.

By Anonymous

What a wonderful world it would be if everyone made a collective commitment to be completely truthful and trustworthy with each other. We can all hope that day will one day arrive.

But in the meantime, we must resign ourselves to the fact that there are people who choose to be deceitful and devious.

So what should you do if you discover that someone—a co-worker, a roommate, or especially a loved one—has been dishonest with you?

Start here:

1. Resist the urge to let it slide.

Ignoring devious behavior will only perpetuate unhealthy patterns. Staying silent will not honor yourself and won’t do anything to help the disingenuous person.

2. Weigh the impact. 

Ask yourself how the dishonest behavior has affected you. Every deceitful “transaction” costs you something. What was it?

3. Ponder your wisest approach.

Before you move into action (or fly off the handle), take a deep breath and consider your options. A knee-jerk response may inflame an already heated situation.

4. Address the behavior. 

It’s best to stay focused on the actions—what was done and how it affected you. Finger-pointing and accusing, even if deserved, will put the person on the defensive and stifle any constructive conversation.

5. Ask direct questions.

If you suspect someone has lied or manipulated, remember that you are entitled to the truth. Don’t drop the matter until you are satisfied with the answers.

6. Reject “minimalism.” 

Some people try to minimize dishonest behavior by trying to pass it off as a little white lie, a fib, or insisting it’s no big deal. Deceitful actions ARE a big deal and shouldn’t be shrugged off.

7. Determine if the person is willing to come clean.

When confronted, lots of people try to cover it up with another lie, and then another. Damaged trust can be restored only when the person takes responsibility for his/her actions.

8. Get a second opinion.

Those who traffic in untruths are masters of misdirection and misperception, leaving you thoroughly confused. Ask a trusted friend or counselor for a reality check so you can separate lies from truth.

9. Honor your instincts.

Give yourself permission to respond in the way you feel is best. If you have doubts and misgivings about someone’s trustworthiness, listen closely to what your heart and head are telling you.

10. Refuse to be the scapegoat. 

Dishonest people will sometimes try to turn the tables and make you out to be the one with the problem, saying that you’re overreacting and reading into things. Don’t play along with that kind of manipulation.

11. Make your boundaries clear and hold to them.

The best way to avoid future problems is to be direct and straightforward about your expectations.

12. Understand that dishonesty is usually not a one-time thing.

Often, a person who will deceive you once will deceive you again.

13. Don’t become enmeshed. 

This means becoming over-involved or overly responsible for the other person. You might be tempted to try to “fix” the situation. But you can only control your own actions.

14. Tell yourself the truth.

Sometimes the best way to deal with a dishonest person is to make sure YOU are completely honest. Even if the other person does not know or care about your dedication to truthfulness, you will know and be proud of your integrity.

15. If all else fails, distance yourself from the deceiver.

When you realize the other person is not willing to shoot straight with you and won’t take responsibility, there’s little chance trust can be regained. So walk away. If this means ending a dating relationship, so be it–there are too many good, honest people in the world to get yourself tangled up with someone who is dishonest with you.