LOVE TIPS- The REAL Reason Some Marriages CRUSH and BURN (While Others LAST)

Hint: It's all in your mind.

By Anonymous

Your marriage's success or failure starts in your mind.

Positive, loving thoughts about your partner can shift and change over the years — sometimes much faster than that.

Are your feelings for your partner different today than when you first fell head-over-heels in love?  

Do you feel more, or less deeply connected to them?  Do you feel more, or less in love with them?

If you do not feel more in love and more connected, I urge you to do something different.

Changes — any changes — in what you feel might be subtle at first.

Something happens that bothers you, and maybe it’s not really that big a deal. But then, another thing happens, or the same offense gets repeated over and over.

All of these little things stack up over time, and the little things begin to feel like big things. 

Then, if a big thing does happen, it can feel like the beginning of the end of your happiness and your marriage.

The levels of love, connection, and even the attraction that you feel, can suddenly seem disappointing.    

But here’s the real root cause of that disappointment:

Your unmet expectations.

You have lots of expectations about your partner. Most of which you probably keep to yourself.

Here are some expectations for your spouse that you might have in your mind:

• I expect you to make me your priority.
• I expect you to be there for me when I need you.
• I expect you to give me sex when I want it.
• I expect you to do what you say you’re going to.
• I expect you to love only me, and the way that makes me feel loved.
• I expect you to value and appreciate me.  
• I expect you to share in the responsibilities of the home.
• I expect you to give me your full attention when I talk to you. 
  

All of these unmet expectations can lead to disappointment.

And that disappointment often creates feelings beneath the surface of bitterness or resentment.

You know it's true.

But don't worry. It's not too late.

Here’s how you begin to improve your marriage even if you feel disappointed:

1. Ignore all of the problems in your marriage for now.  

They can’t be fixed until you and your partner feel more connected with each other. That connected feeling is the only thing to start doing something about.

2. Do whatever will improve the feelings of connectedness between you both.

And that requires YOU to change how you interact with them.

Of course, you can also show them this article.

But don’t expect them to read it and change THEIR behavior, because you will likely be, well, disappointed.

However, when YOU change your behavior into something more fun, playful, happy, and light-hearted any time you’re around them, they will also change their behavior towards you.

Try it out for yourself and see.

Cheers!