STOP Being A Man's Second Choice Back-Up Plan

Don't do this to yourself.

There are very few things that can be as painful and self-esteem-shattering as being someone’s second place prize.

You end up waiting in the aisles, hoping he’ll notice how much you love him, all the while the other woman gets what you want from him with seemingly no effort. It’s brutal to deal with, and that’s why I need to tell you to stop settling. Here’s why:

1. It wrecks your confidence.

It brings self-doubt to one's mind. When you know you’re a second place trophy, you constantly wonder what the other woman has that you lack.

You constantly wonder if, maybe, another 5 pounds lost would make the difference. You wonder why he doesn’t love you the way he loves her. It eats you alive in ways that you never knew were possible.

2. He’s getting everything he wants, and you’re getting nothing.

Most times, I wonder why some women always settle for a complete douche-bag. The fact is if you don't realise he is just using you to satisfy his pleasures then you will always be his playing toy and this will often boost his ego.

Make up you mind not to throw yourself at him or do what he wants until he recognise your worth and treat you right.

3. It ruins your chances at finding a good boyfriend.

What really irks me nowadays is that there were other guys who were interested in you at the time. The only thing is, you pushed them away because you are so dead-set on settling for this guy and most of these guys would have been much more likely to settle down with you.

4. Settling for second best is the foundation of a bad relationship.

Even if he does finally come around, the nagging issue of knowing you’re his second choice will eat away your confidence. Moreover, he will never treat you as well as he would have treated his first choice.

He has already started to take you for granted before, and now all he’s done is convinced himself that you aren’t really worth pursuing in a passionate way. Rather, he’s learned that he can just keep you around until something better will come along.

In most cases, a relationship in which someone settles is one that cultivates massive amount of contempt and resentment. The "settler" feels contempt for having settled for you, and often feels like they are doing you a favor. Meanwhile, the second place feels resentful for being treated as an option.

5. Basically, it’s a no-win situation.

Allowing yourself to be treated like an option will never lead you to a great relationship — so don’t settle for being someone’s option. You deserve better, hun.