By Anonymous
You
can do it, too!
I got married for the first time
when I was very young. We eventually ended up getting divorced, and I shifted
my career from social work to matchmaking.
A few years later,
once my matchmaking company was up and running, I knew I was ready to get
married again. Having made this decision, my love goggles were on. I was
super friendly everywhere I went, kept my eyes open for opportunity, and was
confident with who I was and what I was looking for.
A week after I made
this important decision, I stopped by a local coffee shop with a friend after
seeing a band play. Pretty immediately I spotted a guy across the room that I
thought was really attractive. He was wearing a dapper 1940s get up, so I
yelled over to him, "Hey 1940s dude! What are you eating?"
Now, I know not
everyone would be comfortable yelling across the room like that, but that's my
personality: I am extremely friendly and outgoing. Whatever your style is you
can achieve this same effect, even if it is just with a long smile in their
direction, or a wave hello.
After
I got his attention, it seemed like he was super excited that I had reached out
to him. He asked me right away to sit down with him, and of course, I did.
At this point in the
story I should also mention that I do have a skill for choosing nice guys that
are capable of healthy relationships. It is really important to master the
skill of being able to spot a nice guy. You do not want to be blinded by a
player. No matter how you approach a player (someone not interested in commitment), you won't be
able to turn their marriage light on in 20 minutes.
So, I'm sitting with
this super cute guy, and he tells me about how he just moved to New York from
Louisiana. He recently got his PHD in herpetology, and was a specialist in
studying the evolution of snakes and their DNA. Nerdy I know, but that's what I
loved.
I was so impressed by
him: he was young, smart, and extremely down to earth. Within the next two
minutes I found out that he was from the Midwest and had the same life views as
me, as well as a similar style.
We
hit is off so well that twenty minutes later, believe it or not, he asked me to marry him.
I would have said yes
right then and there, except I had another guy traveling to meet me all the way
from Canada, so I told him that I'd have to get back to him next week after the
Canada guy came to visit — yes, this is really how it happened!
I'll get to the
exciting conclusion in a minute, but let's take a minute to figure out why this
quick proposal happened in the first place.
1.
I was super confident
and walked into that coffee shop smiling, happy, and feeling comfortable in my
own skin. He later told me he took notice of this right when I walked into the
room.
2.
I was positive about
the prospects of meeting new people and finding love.
3.
I knew that I was
ready to get married again.
4.
I had my love goggles
on and was open to all different kinds of people and seeing the potential in
people I was meeting.
5.
I knew how to spot a
good, kind, and relationship-oriented guy.
This last part, spotting a good guy, is really important. Good guys are often terrified of being
rejected, so you might have to approach them first. It’s the players who aren't
afraid to approach a woman.
The reason my coffee
shop stud did not approach me first was because he was sick of being rejected
by women. He had been shot down so many times since moving to NYC that
he had shut himself off for several months and hadn’t reached out to anyone
new. Because I was so friendly, outgoing, and humorous about how I reached out to
him, he was really excited and flattered.
Needless to say, the date with the Canadian guy did not go well because I
was thinking about my future husband. So when that guy
from the coffee shop called me on Sunday (I had only met him that Friday), I
agreed to meet up with him.
We went on two dates that week, and had such an amazing connection that we decided to
get married after only knowing each other for a week. We sent out email
invitations to our family and friends and headed to Vegas to get married by
Elvis less than two months later.
Now, eleven years and
two children later, we've had the time of our lives.
I promise you that
this kind of story can happen to you too. It all comes down to being confident when you walk into a room, and choosing the
person you engage with wisely. Be intriguing, curious, and find your own style.
The rest will fall into place in time.
Whether you find your
love in 20 minutes or maybe a little longer, you will indeed find your partner
if you remain open to the possibilities, aren't judgmental, see the good in
others and are awesome to be around.
Cheers!
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